23rd bday

Perfection

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

That same quote works for each individual and loving themselves. We are all human. We are incapable of perfection.  Yes we can strive for it and come close, but we will always make mistakes and mess up every now and then. And everytime we do come short and do not fully succeed, we need to learn to accept that and embrace our flaws and imperfections. If other people can't seem to look past them, then you don't need those people in your life. 

"What people think about you is none of your business"

Your reputation is completely out of your hands. It is built on what other people think, and ultimately, people are going to think what they want. You cannot please everyone, but there is one person that you can absolutely please all the time, and that is yourself. Be true to who you are and accept yourself for who you are. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Forgive yourself, because God already has. It is about where you are going, not where you have been. You cannot change your past, but you can decide your future. 

Set yourself free and accept that mistakes will be made for the rest of your life. It is the way you deal with and react to those mistakes that shows who you are and your true colors. Become better each and everyday. No matter what part of life it is in, improve yourself and make goals to accomplish. You have the ability and choice to make everyday what you want. Your days and your future are in your hands. 

Hesitation and Fear

Why is it that people are so full of fear? There is so much hesitation in our actions, and that is assuming that we even follow through at all. Why are we so afraid of putting ourselves out there? We fear rejection or looking dumb. I do not know if it is because of how social our society has become where anything can be posted anywhere at anytime, or if appearance and status has become so important to everyone that no one is willing to compromise themselves.

We got this one life to live, so why not make it great. Do something different and put yourself out there. Your missing out on so much opportunity and chances for great things to happen. The risk matches the reward. If you always settle for the little things and dont ever go big, then your never going to get that big reward.

The best example I can think of is when it comes to women. Your standing in line one day at a coffee shop, and bam, you see the most beautiful girl in the entire world. What are you going to do? Just walk away without saying a single word and just wondering what that small conversation could have sparked into? or that girl you sit by in class and have a good connection with. Just let the semester go by without ever actually making a move or pursuing her? why not take that shot? what is it that we fear? rejection? let down? looking dumb? if the girl turns you down or it doesnt work, then you know that you are one girl closer to finding the right one. Take a risk and put yourself out there. If we were not so concerned with the outcomes of things and failing, I wonder what people would be like. probably way too confident. but at least people would not be living in fear.

If you knew that you would succeed at everything you attempted, how many more things would you try? HELLA things. thats how many.

Another thing that effs things up is that kindness is so rare and only used when there is something wanted back in return, that women take kindness as flirting and it makes the simplest of situations hella weird sometimes. Ill touch on that on another post tho. PEACE

Old Fashioned

In a life full of choices and decisions that are dependent on your own actions and mindset, it is crazy to think that so many people live unhappy and unfulfilled lives. It seems as though so many people want the easy and convenient way of everything, and if it is not easy or convenient, then they just want to give up.

"Anything that is worth having, is worth fighting for."

For some reason today, it is thought that things should come easy. Whether it is a job, friendship, relationship, or marriage, it is thought that all of these things should be easy and given to them. That is not how life works though. Life is a fight, all of the time. Everything in life is a fight, and that is what makes everything so worth it in the end. Life and everything in it takes effort. If your life is effortless and has not taken any hard work for anything, then I am sorry. It is the struggle and effort we put forth that makes us who we are and brings out our true colors. From the wise words of MLK Jr.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

It is easy to just go with the flow and look as though you have everything together when you are not being tested. Once you face struggle and are uneasy, that is when your true colors come out and you see what you are made of. Any relationship is easy when its convenient for you, but what does that relationship look like when it becomes difficult and takes work, what kind of friend do you turn into? The one who points the fingers and blames the other, or the one that decides they're going to put work into this relationship because it means that much to you. 

Adversity and struggle needs to be embraced. For it is those aspects of life that create and build people. If it was not for error and failure, we would not be where we are today. I would not be the person I am. Not just failure and error alone, but how we respond to it. You have to accept that in life, you are going to fail. No matter what, you are going to fail at things in life and there is no avoiding it. You cannot think about how people will view you or not attempt something because you think you might fail. You cannot leave in fear of failing. Every time you fail at something, you get that much closer to success. You learn and become better with every time you fail. "You miss 100% of the shots you do not take." If you never ask, the answer is always no. In order to to be successful at anything, you have to be willing to lose and to fail and never live in the fear of what might happen, but rather pursue what you desire and do not let anything stop you or get in your way. 

Back in the day, hard work and resilience were huge. People did not let the idea of failing get in the way of their passions and dreams. The greatest success stories out there include a long list of failures. It is those failures that made the success story so moving and inspirational. 

There are some things in life that I have vowed to never quit on or stop trying with everything I have in me. The first thing is my faith. I question my faith all the time. I never know what God is doing with my life or if I am doing the right thing in life. It is a constant struggle and something I have to work at. To listen to God, and to live out a life glorifying Him is not easy, and it takes work. Having a relationship with a God that you sometimes question and wonder about. But then there are the moments when you absolutely know that He is there and He has be there all along. It is the relationship and what comes with it that makes the struggle and effort all worth it. 

The second thing I will never give up are my relationships. The thing about love and effort is that we have as much of it as we want. There is no limit. Our hearts are capable of so much love and effort, so why do so many people hold back? is it because we are afraid to put ourselves out there? We are too worried about how people might receive that love and effort. You cannot worry about how people will receive your effort and love. You know what your intentions are and what you mean by it. You should never let that be a reason to not spread some love. Not to mention there are so many people out there each day that need to hear something like that. It is the small things that go the farthest sometimes. You just have to put yourself out there. Even in times when there is that friend who probably does not deserve your effort and love, they might be the ones that need it the most. It is completely our choice how we treat people and how we make them feel. Every single day we have the ability and the opportunity to make someones day and to make an impact on them. I want to make as many of those moments as possible. It is the smallest things that make the biggest impact. Just letting people know that your thinking about them or asking about how they are doing or tell them how much they mean to you. Even just noticing something about some random person you have class with. It it the small things. Bringing up things they mentioned while ago, showing them that you remembered because you care and you listen to them. We have the choice everyday to make an impact on peoples lives, and to have the best relationships with those around you. It is all a choice that we have to make. My relationships are something that I will never give up, because of what I can give to others and what I receive from others. The learning, connection, feelings, laughter, happiness and love. 

Lastly, I will never give up or quit on my marriage. This is actually the reason behind this long rant that I went on. Marriage is what got this entire thing started. The biggest issue with marriage today is divorce. Divorce is a byproduct of what people expect today from what picture our media and society has painted. Everything should be easy and convenient and there is always a way out no matter what. Divorce is the simple option and exit when things get too hard and do not work out. I personally think that is complete bullshit. You vowed and promised your love to someone. You should not be able to just give up and quit. You should expect your marriage to take work and effort. Love is not easy. You have to fight and keep on fighting. The biggest misconception and lie is that love and life are or should be easy. They should not. The hard times and working past difficulties are what make the relationships strong and worth while. When things are easy all the time and there is no work needed, that is not realistic nor is going to be strong. I am only going to get married one time. And that woman I marry will mean absolutely everything to me. I am going to fight with everything I have to make our marriage work and to maintain our happiness and love. Giving up and getting a divorce will never be an option. 

Call it old fashioned, but I do not believe in giving up on someone that you vowed and promised your love and life to. There should be some kind of penalty for divorce and should be taken a lot more serious. The idea of marriage sounds amazing. I am almost as excited for the work and effort that it is going to take, as I am for the love and passion and all the other good stuff that comes with it. Men need to learn to be a lot less selfish and put the woman first. That is where things get messed up these days. Men think that everything should be for or about them, rather than making sure that their woman is happy. We have got a lot to learn men, and a lot of things we need to fix if we want to see marriages and families survive and get better in the future. 

Starting Off: 1/16/14

I wanna say Happy 50th birthday to you dad. I LOVE you and life has not been the same without you, but I know that you would be proud of where I am today. You were my influence and drive and ambition in life. I learned from the mistakes you made and I have grown into a man that I can look into the mirror and be proud of, and I know you would be too. You are missed. The family back east could not stop telling me how much I look like you and remind them of you. I like that. Your missing out on a lot down here, but I know that you are up there smiling down and watching over us. I love you dad and miss you everyday. 

It is the bad in life that allows people to see the good. In the wise words of 50 cent, 

"Some days wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain. Joy wouldn't feel so good, if it wasn't for pain.

Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard."

He hit it spot on though. It is the hard times and the struggles that make the joys and happiness of life so amazing. If it was not for hard work and struggle, accomplishments would be nothing and would not feel so great. Growing up through some hard times and adversity, I learned to embrace the bad just as much as the good. I am able to smile and love with my entire heart because of what I have been through. I am able to see things in all of their beauty because of all of the ugly I have seen. 

"The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain"

I love this quote and it holds so much truth. This is not always necessarily true, because some people who have cried a lot and have felt a lot of pain are not always pleasant, but for me this holds true. I love life and possibilities of life because of how bad I have seen life. I am confident that the worst and most traumatic parts of life that I will have to experience are all behind me. And due to the severity of those experiences, I am able, and will be able to handle and take on anything else that life can throw at me.

Life is what you make it. You don’t get to choose it. But you get to choose what you do with it. Make the most of what you got and love what you got. There are a lot of people out there in worse situations that would love to be in your shoes.